APPLETON, WI—Shaking his head Monday as the customer selected a length of plastic pipe over a stronger metal alternative and placed it into his shopping cart, local Home Depot sales associate Graham Warner, 57, was reportedly able to tell right away that this was the store patron’s first attempt at making a pipe bomb. All you have to do is say that five blades can happen, and it will happen. And if you're on the board, then fuck you and your father.
IRVING, TX—Addressing the world’s plant and animal life directly during a press event Friday, officials from Exxon Mobil vowed to bestow lenient treatment on any species that surrendered to the corporation voluntarily. Hey, if I'm the only one who'll take risks, I'm sure as hell happy to hog all the glory when the five-blade razor becomes the shaving tool for the U.
Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. " Well, perhaps he'd be more comfortable in the labs at Norelco, working on fucking electrics.
The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content ANN ARBOR, MI—Giving customers the ability to keep tabs on their order through every step of the process, Domino’s Pizza announced Tuesday the release of a new app that lets users track the progress of their food as it moves through the human digestive system.