Most recently, I started talking to this guy I met at a bar.
And for once, I told myself that I wasn't going to cut him off just based on a bad feeling I had.
And in my time being picky, I have learned that there are qualities that, by universal truth, would make someone a sh*tty significant other.
Have I made it far enough into relationships with these guys to call them my boyfriends? But red flags are red flags, and I consider my method of avoiding men who have let their red flags fly to just be about the best method of damage control that one can do.
So the two weeks that we spent talking were awesome, of course, because just like the start of every relationship the beginning is perfect and not because you haven't seen what makes them a terrible person, but because you're so googly eyed and star-struck that you're willing to forgive all these awful qualities because this person gives you ample attention and, let's all face it, that's the best part of a relationship in its brand-new stages.
But then I actually got to the point where I was telling my girlfriends about this guy — and after voicing my concerns and literally talking about this guy out loud, I realized that I really needed to listen to the red flags that I enthusiastically breezed past before just because I wanted this guy to keep calling me pretty.
Or, maybe, he tells the waitress straight out that her service was subpar after she's been nothing but pleasant and thus he thinks he deserves a free beer and that no, sorry, he won't be leaving a tip. After, of course, leaving an awesome tip to compensate and a note on the receipt apologizing to the waitress and explaining that you met this man on Tinder during a drunken night with your girls that included more wine than pizza, blurring your judgment and that this man is certainly not getting a second date. Sometimes relationships happen a lot quicker than we think they will. If you're on a date with someone who is trying to move at a pace that seems unwarranted, they might be trying to get into a relationship for all the wrong reasons.
But I can call myself pretty, and I needed to dump him. I have never been on a date with someone that revealed their blatant racist tendencies on date number one.
I have had my fair share of bad first dates — I could probably write a full-length novel comparable to the size of Bible.
But in all the first dates I've been on — almost all of which have been laughably unsuccessful — I have learned a lot. I've become an encyclopedia of reasons not to accept a second date with someone. But I am never picky without a reason, and that reason is always good.