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Aina made appreciative noises about each of the penises arrayed before her, examining them like prime fillets at the butcher’s counter. Statistically, women prefer “dad-bods” to “gym bodies” we were told.

Her interest was first piqued by a man whose over-sized organ was framed by a tattoo of an elephant’s eyes and ears. Aina didn’t necessarily agree, and more dead weight was cast aside.“Are you a fan of the fuller bush? They nodded, looked down at Aina’s garden and smirked—realizing, in a sudden moment of clarity, how surreal this whole enterprise had become. “Anyone who doubts the poisonous influence of internet porn has only to watch five minutes of Naked Attraction to see the damage done.

“As if that wasn’t barrel-scrapingly un-British enough, here for your viewing pleasure is Naked Attraction,” they said.

Channel Four tried to dress up their latest wheeze as some kind of biological or sociological experiment.

About 50 percent of the screen time on this show is dedicated to extreme close-ups of vaginas, penises, six-packs, love-handles, nipples, boobs and butts.

The camera seems to linger on every hair, pimple and stretch mark, as well as the curves and protrusions. Abs here, pecs there, and a few beer bellies to make up the numbers.

Maxwell, 24, was appearing on the first episode of Naked Attraction, an extraordinary new show that had Britain reaching for the fainting couch on Monday night.

Thanks to new programmes The Great British Skinny Dip, Stripped and the hotly-anticipated Naked Attraction, viewers can expect their eyes to be filled with plenty of limbs, bushes and cracks when switching the telly on over the next few months.

“This is a light-hearted and appropriately scheduled series exploring some of the science behind attraction and if our primal instincts still shape our decisions when choosing a mate,” a spokesman said. There was a lot of chat about all bodies being beautiful and people preferring different shapes and sizes but ultimately—on the first two run-throughs—it was the fat chick and the guy with the smallest cock who got turfed out first.

Channel 4 are baring all this summer with a host of shows themed on the glorious British birthday suit – whether we like it or not.

The concept is familiar enough: A contestant chooses who to date from a panel of six eligible singletons.

The twist is that this clutch of potential soul mates has to be whittled down during a slow reveal of their entirely naked bodies.


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