Al-Anon teaches that you can emotionally detach from an addict while still being with them physically if they are actively using.I would never be able to accept a life with my husband if I was in recovery, and he was not.Though I realized it was not for me, I was still able to take what I needed from those rooms.Six years before I started to consider leaving my addict partner, he had a major relapse and disappeared for the weekend. I went, half-hearted, because I thought it was something I should do.I learned the terms,“let go and let God,” and “detachment,” in those meetings but I wasn’t ready to do that.They helped me realize that I had to put the focus on me.Even with this new refreshing insight, I felt a disconnectin the meetings.
I thought if I let go that I would be giving up on him.When my husband would use, I went to meetings to get away from my problems. Years later, when things were spiraling out of control in my marriage, I started to go again. I saw the same people, some still living with the addict.