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Verashni Pillay is the editor-in-chief of the Mail & Guardian.

She grew up in Laudium, Pretoria, learned her trade at Rhodes University in Grahamstown, spent a spell in Cape Town as an online journalist, and now loves living in Jozi.

Nevertheless, their brand of subtle affection can sometimes feel suffocating. What strikes me most about this story, which took place in northern China, is how completely different it is from my own experience.

I just really can’t get interested in a lot of what’s written about.

Recently, though, I found something that caught my eye.

A lot of this can’t be changed over a whole lifetime.

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My dad said, “You haven’t been dating John for very long at all — how can you understand him?Other than what he’s told you, you have no way of knowing about his past or his family. Your methods of solving various problems are going to be drastically different, and your lifestyles are different.

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