For example, if a guy buys you a drink, you don't need to thank him by telling him about the bastard who broke your heart, but you're certainly allowed to discuss the bastard once you get closer.
"Openness, honesty, and the freedom to reveal yourself is what love is all about," Salter says.
Believe me, a threesome is not as great as it sounds!
" I got that sad story once and never fully recovered.
Thus I called Toby Salter, a Los Angeles-based marriage and family therapist, and she thought the idea of bottling up our sad stories was the saddest story of all.
Although she admits that therapists have a different perspective—they believe your past makes you who you are—she also believes the intimacy of the disclosure should reflect the intimacy of the relationship.
I did get him to open up about his past, then found myself walking on eggshells when I thought I was doing something he told me he hated about an ex. "All we needed to know was that our pasts got us to where we were so that we could meet each other," he explained. Then I spent the next few dates trying to ascertain how skinny his exes were without seeing photos or asking him directly.A: Greg Behrendt—whose new book, It's Just a Freakin' Date! I thought this was a necessary part of the mating ritual. I remember in Jerry Maguire, Renée Zellweger's character starts to talk about her past marriage, then stops herself and says, "Let's not tell our sad stories." So that's what I was going to suggest, Jenny, that maybe we shouldn't tell our sad stories, because you often get more than you bargained for.