Dating fail comics

Agree or disagree all you want; just don't take it to heart. How the hell are we supposed to learn about the social awkwardness? The first time I tried it I was 18 and had just moved to a strange new city. If you're not honest you'll eventually come across that crazy person that will end up doing something you'll both regret. Lots of room for controversy AND, for lack of better word, funny drawringz! My point is that online dating is worth trying, but don't put your hopes and dreams into it. Just remember that eventually you'll have to step outside of your home and actually interact. I know this might sound like a cheesy moment from Full House, but if you just relax and be yourself, things will always work out one way or another. This isn't exactly a comprehensive guide, but hopefully it'll kickstart your brainmeat into action. What's next - Theoretical Thermonuclear Space Physics? Well this blog is just something I felt that needed to happen. Some of you who know me on a personal level (that narrows it down to three people) might even say that this was LONG overdue. The girl I ended up meeting suddenly tells me she has a boyfriend (after I picked her up), then my truck broke down, and her stupid fat boisterous overly-opinionated friend showed up to "rescue" her stupid fa-- *ahem* Sorry. Remember, dudes have had their penises forcefully removed from their torso by messing with the wrong crazy person.I would also like to point out that this blog comes from personal experience and are just my opinions. By "interact" I mean "gropey-touchey-feelie-squishy-goodness." Unless you fuck things up. Here's the cold reality: If you're not yourself, who the hell are you? The dating world isn't as tough as you might think.They're not necessarily fact (hard to believe, I know). He/She will discover who you really are eventually. People just tend to get extremely uptight about it and end up shooting themselves in the foot. Here are some simple guidelines to find someone "in your ballpark," which is far more effective than finding someone who is perfect: I can probably add more to that impressive numbered list, but you're a smart guy/gal that may or may not be looking for a man/woman to fulfill his/her and/or your/their life/cookie jar that might/might not figure things out! A smart woman might feel attracted to him physically but she'll be able to separate her brain from her loins and think, "Didn't I see this douche-noodle on Tool Academy? I've tried online dating before and have had disastrous results. Are you looking to find someone to marry and produce gobs and gobs of babies? There's nothing wrong with choosing the "just getting laid" option, but you HAVE to be honest with whom you bring to bed. I recall sex education being mostly scare tactics and religious nonsense that insulted me and my peers' intelligence, but that's just me. I would write a blog about failing at sex, but I've never actually "failed" at that. On the flip side, when a guy tries WAY too hard to appear as captain alpha-tough-muscles, he will attract the crazies. You can Skype all night and day; it's STILL not real person-to-person intimacy.

bathroom-blowjob

bathroom-blowjob

I mean, it's not like you think you're the only hottie out there, right?"The comic came about after discussions with friends about online dating and the selective anonymity it affords people," Callaghan explained to The Huffington Post."Some people put it all out there whilst others gain the trust of potential dates through nothing more than a profile picture. How you present yourself is directly proportional to the type of person you attract. (excuse me while I file a patent) Anyway, I think ladies that dress like this already know this stuff on some level.

So like I said, DO NOT USE MOVIES AS A REFERENCE FOR DATING. You gotta make a move of some kind even if you're afraid. I guess if I had to choose, being a chauvinistic male is way simpler. *high fives self* I might ruffle a few feathers out there, but we'll leave the ass-kissing and catering to them weenie politicians. Ladies, I truly mean no offense, but if you dress like a bar skank, GUESS WHAT TYPE OF GUY YOU WILL ATTRACT? Hell; walk around in a transparent thong with LED lights for all I care.

Oh, and on a personal note, I am NOT a dating expert. I don't know about you, but if I would have done HALF - no - 1/16th of the things that Edward did "for" Bella, I would have probably had more than one restraining order filed against me AND I might've enjoyed carving my beloved's name on the wall in a jail cell a few times. Oh, and uh *ahem* as an aside, I know these Twilight characters thanks to Rifftrax, not due to casual Twilight-watching. Except for, sadly, the Dragonball-eque energy blast. Guys (and sometimes ladies), you gotta do SOMETHING. Women tend to have the edge here because they don't normally have to make "the approach." Of course there's that whole "ying to the yang" thing - women tend to wrestle more with clothes, make-up, and overall physical appearance in general.

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