Now, I can be won by persistence, but it has to be of the low-key variety, not the relentless, petulant variety. If a woman is saying no, even if it's a vague no, you have to take her at her word. (Words are good and necessary, but actions tell you more in the world of soft nos.) Guys sometimes give a soft no, too, but I suspect it's much more common for women. Men are still more likely to be the pursuers/askers. The mild case is that you give him a number so you can end the interaction.We know that words and actions are not always consistent, so you can measure her words against her actions. And then you say no to a date if/when he calls you.Actually, the opposite approach would have been more likely to get him another date with me.. However, given that I wasn't certain, this wasn't really a mistake. ) in giving people a chance and taking time to get to know them. It has happened to me if I don't give a phone number to a stranger in a club or bar or if I say no to a drunken guy at a party. Even if my no comes in the form of "I don't think so" or "It's not a good idea" or even "I have a boyfriend." If you say no to a stranger, the worst case is that he'll get angry.I was being internally consistent, but SL was playing a different game. He played the "take all contact as a sign of interest" and "if I keep asking, she'll say yes" games. A middle case is that he'll attempt to engage you in a long conversation about why you're turning him down. (Aside: you will be delighted to hear that I haven't heard from SL again. Part of the problem was that I didn't actually say "no" or "I don't want to see you" to him.
My doubt caused me to give him less than a 100% no.He could tell I was uncertain and he thought the right response to that was to push. A flat out "no" is rude—and if you ever give one, the guy will almost certainly tell you so.