CEOs, doctors, lawyers, hedge fund mangers, business owners, professional athletes, actors, etc… But right behind my good traits are a series of bad traits.
When I am not interested in them, they work for the relationship day and night. Anyone reading this blog can see that: The flip side of being bright is being opinionated.
Even though I am 36, most of the people I meet would think that I am only 26.
Unfortunately, I have been through all kinds of online dates in the last two and a half years.
They often try to change partners who have no desire to be changed. 😉 See, there’s a price to pay for “being ourselves.” And if you’re going to express your opinion, you can’t be surprised if other people disagree with you. Maureen Dowd, the Pulitzer Prize winning columnist for the New York Times, wrote an entire book about this, called “Are Men Necessary? One of her main observations is that if an amazing woman like her could be single, there must be something wrong with men.
When the partner pulls away because he doesn’t want to be with someone so critical, the “direct” person concludes that he couldn’t appreciate her “honesty.” If this makes you feel personally indicted, welcome to the club. I write things that are, to say the least, provocative…and yet I always get surprised when I receive angry emails from readers. And if you’re trying to win each argument, you can’t be too shocked if he wants a woman who can be a little more acquiescent. What she doesn’t acknowledge is that despite her impressive credentials – attractive, successful, intelligent – she might not be giving men what THEY WANT. Just someone who makes his life EASIER and more pleasant. You are a go-getter and worthy of everyone’s respect. And with a generation of women who pose questions like “Are Men Necessary?
In fact, all of my female friends comment on what a great catch I am. Women reading this may feel bad for him, yet also want to him to know that it’s not BECAUSE he’s nice that he’s not attracting women. It’s because he constantly seeks the approval of others. It’s because he sacrifices his personal power to be conciliatory. These traits sometimes come with a significant downside that is painful to acknowledge. The flip side of being charismatic is being self-centered.
These are common attributes of nice guys, yet nice guys think that women don’t like nice guys BECAUSE they’re nice. Again, not EVERY person who is bright is opinionated, and not EVERY person who is funny is sarcastic.
When I am committed to them and act nice and devoted, they start to look elsewhere. Am I cursed to be alone just because I know how to be kind to women? So how is it that all these successful men are not connecting with all these successful women? Because there’s much more going on than merely a meeting of the minds. The flip side of being analytical is being difficult. The flip side of having moral clarity is being arrogant.
Anyway, in short, I need some serious help and hope to hear back from you soon. I’m what you’d call a “nice guy.” I make a good living, I’m pretty attractive, and I treat women well. Isn’t being nice a Men reading this might empathize with Jason. What never occurs to some women is that: They’re being evaluated on far more than their most “impressive” traits. The flip side of being entrepreneurial is being a workaholic.