All we need to be liked and appreciated is to have a sincere attitude of caring for others.Rabbi Yaakov Neiman related that when he was a student in Europe before World War Two, he entered the home of his teacher Rabbi Moshe Rosenstein and observed that his teacher was testing a young child on what he had learned that week.Rabbi Neiman asked him who the child was, and Rabbi Rosenstein whispered, "He's a child of the Almighty." Noticing the puzzled look, Rabbi Rosenstein explained. Some people are "people pleasers." They do things for others to earn their favor and affection.
By the way, though most communities light Shabbat candles 18 minutes before sunset, local custom may vary.For instance in Jerusalem, the custom is to light 40 minutes before sunset. 26; Badei Ha Shulchan ) And one more point: While women usually begin Shabbat upon lighting the candles, men usually begin Shabbat as part of the Kabbalat Shabbat synagogue service. Rabbeinu Yona was an outspoken critic of Maimonides' writings, particularly "Guide for the Perplexed." The governmental authorities later used this as a pretext to burn piles of Maimonides' books and copies of the Talmud."If I told you he is the son of this or that person, you would then feel that you know his identity. While it is certainly commendable to do things for others, "buying" their affection should not be the motivation.But the identity that an educator has to keep in mind is that all of his students are children of the Almighty." When a teacher has this attitude, he will have the patience to educate each student at his own unique pace. Furthermore, there are times when we are not able to fulfill a particular request that someone may make of us.
If we force ourselves because we are afraid that our refusal may result in losing the other person's friendship, we may resent what we do.
This process is counterproductive; doing acts of kindness should not result in resentment.