Maybe you’re divorced and frustrated with dating or haven’t ventured back out to the dating pool.
You could be a widow and unsure of ever finding another man like your husband.
If you are a single woman over 40, you have a love history.
You’ve been in relationships before and you may want one now, but for whatever reason you haven’t found the right person yet.
Clients come to me with these limiting ideas about dating, love and men, and it’s my job to help them turn things around.
That emotional bond and level of maturity is priceless. Dating someone younger may be fun for the short term, but without an emotional bond, it won’t last long. They’ve traveled, they’ve had a career, they’ve had children, and they’ve probably experienced tragedy. In other words, it’s not always about the best body or a wrinkle-free face.
We’ve had similar life experiences because we grew up in the same era. There has to be chemistry, but I can much more attracted to someone who is older if the emotional chemistry is there.
Women over 40 know who they are and are generally comfortable in their own skin. What women in their 40s have over their younger counterparts is that they are perfectly – miraculously – well calibrated to men their own age. There are no awkward pauses trying desperately to think of something to say. If I’m with a young woman and I mention something about Pink Floyd or REO Speedwagon, chances are she won’t have a clue what I’m talking about. So if I’m dating an older woman, her kids are most likely older and like me, she has time and freedom. The next morning (if there is one) is not about someone taking “the walk of shame” or rushing to get out. Often when you date a younger woman you feel like she is kissing you with one eye open and looking for other, better opportunities.
Still, people fall in love every day and many of my clients do find that loving man. This might seem harsh, but you are likely telling yourself several lies about love after 40 that are hurting you.
These negative beliefs prevent you from connecting, or worse, stop you from even looking.