As you may know, before I became a dating coach, I was a prolific online dater. Site are just big boxes of single people who are trying to meet each other. If you’ve ever received an email like this, you know it sucks.
First emails are best when you offer your opinion of something specific in the person’s profile – but instead of doing what you normally do: “I agree. ”, you actually say something disagreeable, controversial, silly, or playful. As the plane is descending, do you see 25,000 people doing down dog at the same exact time? You didn’t talk about the person you were writing to. You didn’t brag about yourself or sell yourself or ask anyone on any dates.Are there 25,000 more people who are ziplining from tree to tree? You just made a silly observation about Costa Rica.Nobody teaches effective email techniques based on actual research. My theory is because it’s easiest – it’s what comes naturally to you. Please, please, please consider going out with me.” For example, if someone says in his profile that he likes Costa Rica, you think about all the things you know about Costa Rica and search your brain for a humorous angle.The closest anybody gets is Ok Cupid – and all they do is give you test results – approximately 27% of people respond to first emails, overall – they don’t show you HOW to write great first emails. You have a great smile and I think we have a lot in common, too. So you don’t put much thought into it, and, not surprisingly, it doesn’t get very good results. There’s nothing funny, interesting, compelling, or different about such an email. Something other than, “I’ve heard it’s beautiful there! ” Personally, I don’t know ANYTHING about Costa Rica, but I do know that all of my left-wing, liberal, neo-hippie friends go on yoga retreats there. I don’t know anything about Costa Rica; I think it’s in the Caribbean or Central America or something like that.
This is the way normal people talk when they go to parties.They don’t tap you on the shoulder and say, “You look cute. Let’s go out.” It all starts with a little bit of witty banter.