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I took her home and as I parked in front of her house we kissed (First Base).One kiss turned into two, and the intensity levels escalated too arriving at Second Base pretty quickly. We reached Base Four that same night…And I think I only actually allowed this one to happen because it was a long distance one. First Base actually happened towards the end of that day.This is also how logical it was, at least for me at first, to leave a seven-year long marriage. We tried all sorts, including planning a threesome with the person that would later become the mum of my youngest son, but that’s a story for another day! Even if there is a gap between the women, I’ve never really done dating as most people see it, and I always end up in some sort of serious relationship within a couple of weeks of a first date.And after consulting Miss Twenty-Nine on are classed as ‘the steps of dating’, according to the traditional american baseball system (Kissing is first base, Groping – second, Oral – third, Sex – fourth) I’ve decided to check where I went wrong with the people I’ve “dated” since splitting with the mum of my youngest. When you were dating your man, you wore incredible outfits and said, “Oh this old thing? If you love gluten-free, feel free to talk about it. Just don’t start talking in absolutes, making broad, generalizing statements, because you may never make it to third. They might feel like this: Third base is a play date at one of our houses. You better have the relational stamina for this kind of commitment. Just because you want to, not because you’re killing time while your kids do their thing. One fourth-base mom date will last me for a couple of months. When you date other moms, you pack extra baggies of healthy snacks and push doors open with your face while schlepping car seats. Never use while discussing homeschooling, gluten, gun control, breastfeeding, marriage, red dye number 40, infertility, or Jesus. If there’s a subject that might cause you to stop blinking and/or breathing, save it for fourth base and don’t unleash it at the park. Feel free to bust out your full-blown honk laugh, talk about how soy gives you diarrhea, and how you worry that you’re a crappy mom. There’s dessert, staying out till the security guard kicks you out of the mall parking lot, and no walk of shame as you crawl into bed next to your racked out hubs. Dating for moms is super fun, and you just might get lucky.

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The only reason we didn’t go straight to third base was because she was allergic to latex, and so we had agreed to both being checked for STDs before doing anything (Safety First kiddos! something else happened that escapes classification. Still in the car we ended up manually pleasuring each other, much to the delight of a group of girls, who happened to spot us as they came back home from a night clubbing…She was a chef in a restaurant I used to go to. We didn’t see each other for nearly four months after that, but the wonders of technology made up a bit for the long distance and the lack of opportunities we had to meet.We got friendly, had a few coffee dates which then progressed to drinks and a movie. Third and Fourth Base only actually happened on our third date, five months after we met.

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