It’s easy for us to be deterred or hurt by comments that people make about us or what we’re doing, but author Brenè Brown has a simple tactic to help us filer and reduce the amount of people we let into our inner circle: make a list.
The Sea of Fucks is vast and wide; navigating it can be treacherous, and if we’re not careful it will swallow us whole.
One week you want to build a back that’s large enough to block out the Sun, then the next you’re switching it all up, devoting your energy towards becoming an ultra marathon runner because someone told you that it’s the best way to get a six-pack.
To this day, the thought of speaking to more than one person fills me with debilitating levels of anxiety. Busy men an women who put themselves dead last after a long list of duties, stressing because they’re running around trying to be everything to everyone. Adopt new habits, start to feel empowered about the direction of your life, and maybe lose a little weight in the process? Here are three practices that you can begin to use in the war for your mental sanity.
I could go on, but you don’t have the time and I’m quickly running out of tears. And we’re not even talking about what can start to happen once you choose to do something differently. This step is critical in creating an anti-fuck shield deep within your soul. The less clear we are in terms of what our aim is, the more likely we are to fall victim to the whims and fancies of others.
From choosing a goal and showing it what you’re made of. It’s completely natural to care about the opinions of others; we’re social creatures and we’ve been doing it all of our lives. Allow me to share a few shining examples from my past. So I did, all while recalling the horror stories of those who dared tempt fate before me and paid the price. Thankfully my mom gave me enough good sense, and I ran out of that classroom and down the hallway like I scored the winning goal in the World Cup. Giving too many unnecessary fucks fills our lives with so much noise that true clarity becomes damn near impossible.
From grabbing hold of life and making the most out of your short time on this spinning rock. At some point in early grade school (or yesterday), I remember having to pee. Then there was the time when I gave a public speech and got way too close to the microphone when I spoke, causing epic feedback and giving the audience an excuse to erupt in laughter. It forces us to dull our edges, and because we’re too busy worrying about what other might think about us we become stifled, unable to express who we truly are.
These people are at the top of their field, with years or rigorous study and practical experience to back them up. I know less about physics than I do about how planes work (AKA nothing at all).
Like dandelion fluff on a breezy summer day, just as you start to head in one direction and gain traction, you’re quickly blown in another, stuck in this seemingly endless loop of having your course of action determined by external forces. Here it is: Just because someone can talk to you doesn’t mean you should listen.
Imagine if I waltzed into where they house the Large Hadron Collider, with my little shorts and shaker cup filled with protein powder, and started lecturing all of these brilliant scientists on what they were doing wrong, how I thought they could make improvements, and that putting a piece of cake inside the machine would probably accelerate results due to its delicious nature.
They have every right to smile and nod, while secretly trying to make me disappear with their mind.
There’s a different between acknowledging that someone is saying something versus actually absorbing what’s said and having it influence your behaviour.
And unbeknownst to you, it’s holding you back from going all-in. Nah, giving too many fucks – that’s the real silent killer. I raised my hand to go to the toilet and the teacher told me to hold it. I was either going to sit there and soil my adorable Dockers shorts in front of all my friends, or challenge authority and fight my way to porcelain freedom. The real danger appears when begin to value their opinion more than the combination of our own knowledge, instincts and sense of self-worth, and changing our actions because of them. Somewhere very near, nestled between your left and right ears, is the sound of a never-ending cacophony of fucks bouncing off the walls of your skull, slowly driving you mad. The problem isn’t that we care about what others think; we’re not robots.