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Now, granted at the time I was only into dating casually, while several of my friends were looking to settle down, so I could understand – kinda – where they were coming from. Changing up your dating philosophy to make your efforts more efficient can make your dating life I believe in efficiency when it comes to my social life – especially to dating.

Part of this is understanding where and how to spend your energy and time.

We have a tendency to focus our attention on areas that we of time worrying about social status and value when it came to women.

At the time, I was mainly meeting women in bars and clubs and I had bought into the idea of social proof – that the more it seemed like I was a big shot at the bar, the better I was going to do with women.

So, in order to keep up one’s social status – according to the theory – you wanted to be seen working the room.

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I loved the thrill of the chase, the intoxicating nervousness and energy that came from getting to know somebody new, the flirting back and forth as we tried to feel each other out.

First dates (and second and third, really) were things to look forward to. Right and skip straight to the happy committed life, so of course the frustration of wanting to skip the entire courtship aspect made sense to me. It was a constant repetition of putting in massive amounts of effort for a minimal reward… They were spending most of their time and energy on the areas that would be the productive and neglecting aspects where spending a little more time would produce huge results – small wonder they hated dating.

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