In this article:• Explore the causal reasons behind the first date sex (FDS) phenomenon• Determine the pros and cons of FDS• Finding a middle ground Cupping the palm of his right hand over his forehead, the man sitting on the couch across from me sounded embarrassed.
Feel free to leave your comments and post any question that you would like Tracey to answer, or topic you would like her to broach.
To ask Tracey something confidentially that she can answer in a forthcoming post, you can contact he Good news for anyone who’s ever opened their eyes to find themselves lying next to someone they met the night before: turns out you haven’t necessarily blown your chances of long-term love by sleeping with someone on the first night.
But if you put your brain on hold and get involved with their body, you can stumble out of that glorious, lust-infused haze, rub your eyes and find you’ve made all sorts of promises and commitments to someone who wasn’t worth getting intimate with in the first place.
A new American study of 640 adults in Chicago has unearthed a rather surprising result: couples who slept together on the first night were just as likely to end up happy long-term as couples who put off doing the deed until they became more serious. But I’d still advise postponing it, at least for a little while, simply because once you sleep with someone, there’s no excuse for not doing it again.You’re instantly thrust into a far more intimate space than you were. You get so involved with your partner’s body, you forget to look closely at the person inside it.Another key finding of the study published in the Journal of Social Science Research was that for love to blossom from first-night sex, both people had to be open to the idea of a committed relationship. It’s the title of a movie that had a fictional book in it, by a fictional author, who claimed men have affairs after seven years of marriage. My partner of two years is an attractive, kind, funny man who adores me.Everyone’s always telling me how lucky I am to have him but the reality is I don’t fancy him and don’t think I ever did! Love ‘purists’ will tell you if the sexual spark isn’t there at the start, it’s not possible to manufacture it. But you’re not asking me to create chemistry, you’re asking me if it’s possible to make yourself fancy someone you love and the answer is yes. Even if you had fancied your partner at the start, it tends to disappears over time.
I love him desperately though and really want it to work. The trick to long-term lust is to turn yourself on, rather than expect your partner to do it for you.You have a healthy libido, tap into it and build it by reading some erotic books (God knows there are enough of them out there now, thanks to the Fifty Shades effect! Use them to create a little ‘library’ of fantasies that turn you on, then replay them in your head while you’re with your partner. If you close your eyes and fantasise as he’s doing the things you like, sex can be satisfying.