Now clearly, if you feel you need to know about the person immediately or want to be extra cautious, I’m not saying that using a background check that early is a mistake.By all means, use it when you feel it is most appropriate.
What I recommend to people who contact me is to hold off on the background check until after the first date if they can (many can’t! This is because in my experience, so many promising relationships end on the first date.There were plenty of “perfect” women that turned out to be someone I wasn’t really interested in.However, I do get questions on this from readers and it’s clear to me that many people wouldn’t be comfortable with the idea of dating online without background checks.Because of that, I wanted to talk about my thoughts on background checks and what I would recommend when people contact me about using them.
You might then say: I think caution like that is fine, but I don’t think a background check is the only solution.
Instead, I would recommend what I’ve recommended many times on this site: ensure the first date itself is very safe. Here are some suggestions: If you favor using background checks, an approach like this will help you stay safe while preventing you from spending money on someone you end up having no interest in.