The rules may change daily, but that just makes socializing more confusing, not less essential. More important, we tell you how to identify the definitely Mr. Did you know that all Jewish mothers are born matchmakers? Lisa and Jill pride themselves on their matchmaking abilities. Lisa’s matchmaking method I do matchmaking all the time. I can’t help it — I assume everyone wants to be in love. Even if they are lousy husbands, they are usually devoted daddies. Traditionally, Jewish men didn’t drink and didn’t fool around. Twenty- and thirty-somethings are still out there looking for their perfect mate. If I find out that you are single, I begin the interrogation: What are you looking for — kids, no kids, city, country, age, religion, interests? Everyone needs love, so I assume everyone also wants to meet that perfect match. He may not like his wife, he may not even love his wife, but he definitely respects his wife. For some reason their own friends don’t “set them up” the way we did. Even the word “partying” has morphed into a pejorative term, implying drug use rather than enjoying yourself at a party without drugs. They don’t have “socials” the way we used to or safe places to meet other young adults.We have also noticed that the issues of dating resurface frequently in middle age, because so many people are either divorced or widowed. The key is to maintain hope: I’ll check in tonight on JDate; maybe Mr. If I know someone who might be right, I ask only one thing of each person in the match — they have to agree to go out on a second date. There may be a lot more baggage at that stage, and many more complexities, but whether we are twenty-four or fifty-four, we still have the same feelings of anxiety and rejection: Is he or she out there? I read that someplace in a magazine and I thought it was a great rule; it takes all the pressure off the first date. Jill’s philosophy on matchmaking I take matchmaking very seriously. I truly believe that God will give me credit for this one day, and I love to get credit! I have at least one marriage I can take credit for, and right now two friends of mine whom I fixed up are dating steadily. I matched up a nice Jewish girl and a widowed dentist, and they got married. The Jewish husband: Myth and reality Let’s face it: Everyone is looking for a good Jewish husband.
If I were dating today, I would definitely go on JDate.com, which is an Internet matchmaking site for Jews. They’ve heard that Jewish men make the best husbands too. There is no stigma attached to online dating today like there was just a few years ago. Joanna tells her mother, Lisa, all the time: The computer is both a blessing and a curse. But there is no doubt that we have saturated this latest generation with an abundance of sexuality. For casual dating, move to another book — the Jewish mother is not interested. Do not expect your white knight to magically appear one day when you are waiting in line for coffee, on the elevator or at the airport terminal.Despite the lack of what we used to call “dating,” meeting people and seeking a life partner is still an important part of life. Dating is serious business to the Jewish mother; she knows that few things in life are more important than finding the right mate. If you want to find love, you have to think of it as a second job (provided you have a first job). Have a little trust — and carry pepper spray, just in case. If you do find a good Jewish man who makes a decent husband, give us Jewish mothers some credit for this. And for the record, Jewish wives can be pretty terrific too, thank you very much.
In “Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Stories, Real Love,” Jill Zarin of “The Real Housewives of New York” teams up with her sister Lisa Wexler and mother Gloria Kamen to share advice on love, marriage, happiness and, of course, matchmaking. Random, anonymous conversations on social networking sites? If they are not in college and cannot afford an apartment of their own, their social world is tiny. You can’t expect them to read your mind; everybody has his own life to worry about.
Read an entertaining excerpt on how to navigate modern love: Our kids are growing into a generation of young adults that forgot how to date. Dating as a courtship ritual seems to have disappeared. So many kids today are content to sit home at their computers, watching life from a screen in their comfortable bedroom, rather than getting out there and participating in life. Did you learn about the nuances of hetero and homosexual intercourse before you were sixteen? In our quest to ensure that our kids know every possible bad thing that could happen to them as a result of being sexually active, we have taken some of the mystery and romance out of life. The shiddoch If you are serious about getting serious, then you have come to the right place. If you do not know anyone who is willing to set you up, there are professional matchmaking services in every region and on every desktop.