But, there is also a real-life person (in New York, that’s Swider) you can hire to go out into the world and meet people for you.The company’s name is no mistake: It’s a play on the unwritten rule that you should wait three days before calling someone you like.For ,000 Swider matches clients for Three Day Rule, a Los Angeles-based dating service that’s recently arrived in New York.You may have heard about the dating service’s website, which has received some criticism for using facial-recognition technology to match you with people who look like your exes.But, as Swider explained, for someone who’s constantly going out for cocktails and romantic meals, months of this can easily add up to that kind of money.And, then you end up at dinner with someone who you’re not totally connecting with.
For the initial consultation — which comes free of both cost and pressure — Swider asked Christy*, a very cool client who agreed to let me sit in on their meeting, a lot of questions. But, the benefit of having a human asking these questions is that you get a chance to explain that which you cannot communicate by ticking boxes on a list.She hit the basics, like age, height, job, and her version of “So, what brings you in today? When Christy said her hobbies included adventurous activities, Swider responded, “So, you’re doer,” or “You’re more of an explorer, not a vacationer.” The TDR matchmaker functions as a liaison between the algorithms of online dating and how you articulate what you’re looking for.“Guys aren’t traditional the way they used to be,” she explained. Apart from her admittedly terrible taste in television, Christy is a completely eligible bachelorette. You could ask her about her job in the public health field, but she’d rather tell you about the time she spent in Africa building clean-water communities. But, for those living in NYC, she’s one of a growing population of young women unable to meet someone in a city brimming with young hopefuls. ”Christy thinks people in the Big Apple have a very specific problem: “It’s like New Yorkers have Peter Pan syndrome,” she said, speaking to the ways we date a ton but don’t find many actual relationships.“Women have kind of taken control of their dating lives. You know, not seeing someone past the fourth date or when those texts fizzle into radio silence. Christy’s tried Tinder, but found that, while she was open to dating, her matches were less so. She's met plenty of people through her job and social outings, but it’s still not working.
Swider vets potential matches that are worth your while — kind of like a personal shopper.
Talia Goldstein, founder of TDR, believes we’re caught in a kind of gray area where women are expected to take as much romantic initiative as men.