“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked.Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise L.Odds are, you aren’t always looking for someone’s advice or opinion when you come to them with a painful story.Some of my most effective mood-boosters included: These are all perfectly valid approaches to feeling better, but they all hinge on praise and external support.Getting help from others is only one part of the equation.would your life be different if you stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions?
If you’re also looking to increase your capacity for self-soothing so you can depend less on validation from others, you may find these ideas helpful: Of course, this assumes you already keep a gratitude journal to recognize and celebrate all the good things in your day.
If you don’t, you can still take a few minutes every day to give yourself some credit.
Note down the things you’ve done well, the choices you’ve made that you’re proud of, the progress you’ve made, and even the things that required no action at all—for example, the time you gave yourself to simply be.
When you regularly praise yourself, self-validation becomes a habit you can depend on when you need it the most.
We also need to be able to validate, support, and help ourselves.
With this in mind, I’ve come up with a few ideas to create a little more balance in my support system, making myself a more central part of it.