Because you cannot be perfect, there will be emotional meltdowns, communication faux paus and plain old mistakes in your marriage so you need to be good at recovering, recuperating and reconnecting.
So in a tight spot when we didn't know what to do next one of us would ask, "What shall we do now?
John Gottman and his colleagues have found that satisfied married couples had five positive interactions to every one negative interaction . (Who cares if you can't cook if your husband calls you "One red hot mamma!
Decide to have a positive attitude and then positive words will flow from it. ") This is not the cutting humor that can slice a heart. In our surveys of couples who have long-term happy marriages, nearly everyone mentioned the need for a good sense of humor!
" The other might answer with a smile, "The Viva Towel test?
Anything positive -- even, "Sure is nice weather today, huh?
" In fact, one researcher discovered that the more positively couples rated their communication, the more satisfied they were with their relationship. I'd rather be here with you in this situation than with anyone else, any place else." When Bill blows it somehow, I usually say something like, "That's ok, you are a really great man and this is such a small thing." Start spontaneously listing off your spouse's best traits.