She’s got a friend I’ve always found really attractive, and recently the friend mentioned to my ex-girlfriend that she’s interested in me too.
My ex says she’s okay with it if we go out, but a couple of my girl friends tell me that I shouldn’t even consider asking her out, no matter what my ex-girlfriend says, so I’m not sure what to do. —TM, Los Angeles, California The straight man’s perspective: Chris Kennedy I’m not a big believer in having a lot of dating rules, but I do hold true to the Golden Dating Rule—do unto significant others as you’d have done to you. Not literally—I’m not recommending fetishes—but see things from her perspective on this.
Even if someone isn’t your significant other anymore. I don’t care how over a girl I was, I’d have a pretty tough time if my ex started sleeping with my friend. And wouldn’t it burn you that the only reason they know each other is because of you? I don’t know how long your relationship was, but if it was of any significant time, this would be really awkward.
Sure, you say you and your ex are friends now and talk all the time.
) Your ex knows that you guys could easily sneak off and have your little rendezvous anyway, so she’d probably just as well know about it. NO, you cannot go out with one of your ex-girlfriend’s friends! No matter what she says or how little she promises it will bother her. Because right now—whether she’s consciously aware that she’s doing it or not—she’s testing you and the definition of your newly defined friendship. She may seem breezy, but the second you go out with her friend, you are a marked man.You get a few points for asking your ex if it’s okay. From the way you describe it, you can go out with her friend! Your friendship with your ex will never get off the ground—at least not until you stop dating her friends.But don’t fool yourself into thinking there isn’t more at stake here than just asking out the friend of a friend.All you’ve said about your ex’s friend is that you find her attractive and you’re interested.
Your ex may say she’s fine with it because otherwise she has to say no, look petty, and fight with both you and her friend. Sometimes you have to walk it in someone else’s shoes.(What kind of friend says she’s interested in her friend’s ex, anyway? The straight woman’s perspective: Rebecca Brown For God’s sake, man, have you been awake, alive, or attentive on this planet—like EVER?