Rules of dating a musician

Community Q&A There are loads of girls whose greatest dream is to date a musician, and most of them go about it the wrong way and end up either as one night stands or squealing fan girls.

Kyle Park tweeted this list of “The Rules for Dating a Musician” last night. I have never dated a musician, but I can see how these rules would apply.

I sleep on an awesome bed in a great apartment, full of color and life, and have only vomited on my own floor once and that was years ago and I had the flu. Then they cannot be your favorite band of all time. Get ready to listen to a bunch of songs about their exes. They are the ones buying the merch, and paying to get into the door. Do not make out with other band member’s girlfriends at the bar. Do not get get jealous when your boyfriend/girlfriend talks to groupies. Don’t follow him/her around at the show while he/she is taking care of business/networking. (Unless invited.) Do not assume that everyone loves your boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s bands. The shirt is fine, but the hat, koozie, hoodie, and stickers on your ass is a bitch much. Your friends know that you are an upstanding citizen, but a first impression by a stranger could lead to some wrong assumptions.

People will hit on them after shows and you will usually be there watching it happen. Also your shoes will always be sticky now and I do not have a solution. They will go on tour and boom — now they are invisible. OK, I just need to say in all the caps in the world: This.

It is important that you do not act like a dick about this and that you are extra-awesome to me after shows. I'm super-loyal and eerily dependable, but if I need to rehearse or record or do a photo session in an abandoned saloon somewhere, that's going to be more important than watching 4. There might be days when the only time we talk is when I call you at 2 a.m.


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