There are literally dozens of legitimate reasons you could pass up a man. Warmest wishes and much love, Evan His biggest crime, apparently, was that he met another woman first and was honest enough to – gasp! I have you to thank for that, I would never have thought about that had I not listened to your advice. Particularly timely given that dude that I had such a fun time with and am annoyingly so attracted to has yet to call again.No, the problem is that you EXPECT anything different. I am NOT telling you to accept all their bad behavior. Well, 2 weeks or so after that conversation, he phoned me again, and told me that things didn’t work out with that other lady and asked me out. I rarely feel as comfortable on a first date as I did with him, like we really “clicked”. And she has a really great chance of going on a second date with a man about whom she’s quite excited.As a result, you are continually derailed each time another guy fails to meet expectations. I am NOT suggesting that you’re wrong to want guys to act with integrity. And, finally, “I should just give up on dating.” A man could draw all those conclusions, but they would be patently false. But if you stick around long enough, you can witness magic. I agreed to a date (although I did kind of feel like an alternate, or runner up to his first choice). I know it’s too soon to say, since I know all too well that a great first date so often means not all that much. Ask yourself if you’d react the exact same way that Lorraine did.This is long, so make sure you have 5 minutes to yourself. Maybe you’ve been emailing and talking on the phone every night for a week.Maybe you had an effortless first date that lasted until 2am.
Until then, it’s all speculation, hope, fantasy, desire, wishful thinking, and potential. What I’m writing about is what you make all of this dating stuff MEAN. remember the phone session we had last month where we were looking at one of the guys who had written to me on Match.
See, you’re identifying each man as the problem here. After all, if 50% of all guys are going to disappoint, then this behavior is utterly predictable. But then after exchanging several emails and a few phone conversations, he told me he was dating someone else and that he would call if things didn’t work out, and I was a bit upset by that. She doesn’t assume that they’re “together” because they kissed.
All I AM saying is that based on your own experience, a high percentage of men disappoint. After all, you ever have a good date with a guy but not feel strongly enough to see him again? THIS is what I see over and over and over again Your solution is not to change men. Your solution is to understand that rejection and failure happens to EVERYONE. Nonetheless, we went out for drinks and dinner tonight. So although we spent a long time getting to know one another and seemed to have mutual attraction, and rather powerful chemistry (ok, we kissed! But in this case, I would be REALLY surprised if we didn’t go out again. What I love about this email is how it illustrates Lorraine’s growth as a single woman in the dating world. Ask yourself if you’d be as positive, patient, forgiving and confident as she was. He said it was my story about going to Dodger Stadium w/my Dad and seeing Sandy Koufax pitch a perfect game.
Too short, too fat, too old, too nice, too boring, not enough money, too many other dating options? She didn’t get derailed when the guy disappeared the first time. If not – and if you’d like to approach dating like Lorraine, you can reach me here: Have an amazing day. He’s not into sports at all, it was that he liked THE STORY.
If you’ve been reading my newsletters long enough, you know that while such events are all encouraging, none of them qualify as “real”.
Real only happens when it’s clear that a man is your committed boyfriend.