Let the personality of the person you are meeting unfold. Put the physical attraction (or lack thereof) on hold while you explore the deeper things.
A person's nervousness can mask his or her true qualities. Unless the first date is a really bad experience, go out on a second date. Outward appearances are the least accurate indicator of true love. When you feel alone and single, make your life more meaningful. Use the most precious gift an unmarried person has - your free time - to help others in your community. Tell them what you are looking for and ask them if they know of anyone for you. Leah knew that she was destined to marry the evil Esau.
It may be the fourth date before you can really see the inner person. Beauty fades, but the inner qualities improve with age for those people who are willing to refine themselves throughout a lifetime. There is no Prince or Princess Charming and happily-ever-after without effort. Volunteer your time to help families and the lonely elderly in your neighborhood. Then ask for guidance about your problems and dating decisions. Strengthen your relationship with your Creator so that your priorities are clear when you are dating. Our sages tell us that 40 days before we are born, a heavenly voice calls out for each person, "This soul, So-and-So is destined to marry that soul, So-and-So! Even if you feel you missed your destiny - don't worry. She prayed and wept and begged that her destiny be changed. Her prayers were so effective that she married Jacob first.
Many successful marriages have resulted when reluctant people were willing to give the other person a second chance. "Don't touch" is the way to come closer to developing the emotional intimacy that is neccesary for a relationship to blossom into marriage. Make a rule that you won't touch for the first 30 days. 5,761 years ago, the Jews were betrothed to G-d at Mt. Practice giving as much as you can and you will be well-prepared for marriage which is all about giving. The Jewish wisdom tradition teaches us to seek a Jewish spiritual counselor who knows Torah law and lives by it. Then you will not make a mistake in your choice of whom to marry. The Torah tells us that our Matriarch, Leah's eyes were weak. I have an e-book to help you get really clear about who you are and what you're in this world to do, so that you can communicate this clearly to your soulmate.
The time you are given before you are married is a special time for growth. Your lives should be moving in the same general direction.Miriam wants to learn and grow in Torah but by the time she’s gottenthe kids off to school, prayed, worked, done the laundry, and cooked dinner,she’s exhausted and she still has to help the kids with their homework andfind time and energy for her husband.