At this point, I would like to remind you that we are talking about young, bright-eyed Vince Vaughn here and not the present-day Vince Vaughn who looks like he stores his sadness in his jowls. Then, once it started ringing and you were caught like a deer in headlights, without fail, her father would answer.
Back in the late '90s, this three day system actually made sense. This was the exact moment your voice decided it was time to hit puberty.
It started with several minutes of staring at the phone. It was traumatizing and has led to me to resent kids who grew up with cell phones.
Seriously, if you grew up texting girls, you should not be allowed to have a girlfriend until you arm wrestle her dad.
Cold calling was a humiliating, character-building rite of passage that every teenage boy should have to go through, like getting changed in a locker room or hiding a boner in class. But it’s what Vince Vaughn did, so it’s what I had to do.
) But I did learn one useful lesson from the guys in , besides how to make Wayne Gretzky’s head bleed.
It’s that you should always wait three days to call your baby.
They all waited at least three days to call their babies.
If you got a girl’s number on Saturday night, you would hold off on calling her for a few days to show you weren’t too desperate, which you absolutely were. It’s hard to to sound casual when you’re stuttering and squeaking like sneakers running up and down a basketball court.
Then around Tuesday or Wednesday, you gave her a casual call to make plans for the coming weekend. Except that calling a teenage girl’s house was actually one of the most terrifying, nerve-wracking experiences of a young male’s life. Words that would go directly out the window as soon as someone answered. This was the process I went through every single time I wanted to make plans with a girl.
Chain wallets were a sure sign that you were money. It’s like when cigarette ads had warning signs that smoking was harmful to kids but at the same time, featured a cartoon camel driving a convertible with two sexy ladies in the back.
(Side note: Were the human ladies having sex with the camel-person and if so, what was that all about?
I say “stupidly” because I was an incredibly stupid teenager who did not realize that the movie was not intended to be a handbook for dating.
In fact, Vince Vaughn and crew were portrayed as such incompetent Lotharios that the movie’s now glaringly obvious message was: “These guys are pathetic d-bags; do not act like them if you ever want to touch a naked woman.” In my defense, I did not pick up on this at age 14 because, hello: THEY WERE WEARING CHAIN WALLETS.