When you read most Christian dating books, one of the key pieces of counsel they provide is to “guard your heart.” They establish that guarding your heart is an essential component of correctly pursuing any dating relationship.
The verse they generally appeal to is Proverbs , which says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” However, these generalized calls to guard your heart in the midst of dating fall short in three ways: How do you guard your heart?
Of all the dating advice I receive as a single woman, the most frustrating one is ‘you should really put yourself out there more.” As cliche and tired of an analogy as it is, as soon as someone gives me that (unhelpful) wisdom, I think about the Sex & the City episode when Carrie defends Charlotte from the rude dating coach. “We’ve all heard the phrase “put yourself out there.” It’s a phrase that conjures an image of the opposite: an individual sitting around on their couch every night with no life and no friends to speak of — how insulting!
I feel her grievance and often want to whine: Trust me, I am putting myself out there. ” empowerment and dating coach, Melinda Lane Fisher tells Bustle. ’ Assuming you have a life and a job, family members and friendships, you’re already out ‘there,’ whether that means at work, having dinner with friends or seeing a show. So how do you meet someone ‘out there’ that you want to include in your already great life?
Here’s what they said: “Examine your heart and mind and ask yourself honestly if you’re really ready to meet someone.
Is it possible there is residual grief or resentment from past relationships?
But what does it mean to put yourself out there really But when I have a few glasses of vino, do some meditation or yoga and get myself in the right headspace to approach dating, the image that often comes to my mind (and I’m sure to yours) is that ‘being out there’ means constantly swiping, bar hopping, going to singles events and always ready to meet the right person.
” To figure out how I can actually get the most return from the work I put into dating, I asked them to explain what ‘being out there’ entails.