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They weren’t “high-status males” with impressive jobs or flashy cars and fancy clothes.

They didn’t have useful contacts for the social climbers or the money for those supposedly hypergamous women looking for the next level. who still managed to date sexy, intelligent, ambitious women. Being fun, being able to help someone enjoy themselves transcended looks and status.

More than looks, more than money, more than whatever nebulous definition you want to give to “value” or “status”, the most attractive aspect of a man, that x-factor that nets him attention, attraction and dates is… Over the years as I was trying to make my transition from “dateless loser” to “ladies man”, I got to know a wide variety of folks who were good with women.

Some were blessed with every advantage – classic good looks, money and charm – while others had to work for their success.

Because of the pervasive belief that sperm is cheap and eggs are expensive – the idea that women grant sexual access only to those who offer the best “value” – they tend to focus on the most obvious aspects of what supposedly makes men attractive: looks and material wealth, with “status” following third.

The problem is that they’re working on the wrong areas and a misunderstanding of just what makes somebody appealing to women. more often than not it’s not even in the top 5 of what makes a man attractive.

They knew how to make people They were genuine interesting people with stories to share and a genuine interest in getting to know the people they talked to. I began to see just how integral being was to a successful dating life…

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And yet there were a few people in my social circle who could – to put it charitably – punch well outside of their apparent weight class.

They were not classically handsome – in fact, many of them were fat and balding.

of time worrying about being more attractive to women.

Men tend to feel as though they’re at a disadvantage when it comes to dating and consistently look for the magic bullet that will maximize their efforts.

Their secret was very simple: they were fun to hang around with. It gave them a notable, long-term advantage over the guys who were all surface and flash, the ones who only had a handful of tricks and routines to rely on and the ones who got by on social pressure and status games.If you talked to them, then you were going to enjoy yourself. they all loved these guys within minutes of meeting them. It took me a while to appreciate just what they had but once I understood, it was like a new world opened up to me.

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