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One of them is that people in early recovery should avoid dating during the first year of recovery and clean time. The old joke says it like this: “It’s actually OK to have sex during the first year of recovery, and then in the second year, you can have sex with a partner.” Ha ha. A few reasons come to mind- It is too easy to get wrapped up in the new person and lose focus on who your focus needs to be on. You will go through a lot of tremendous change that first year. Going from hyper-sexual to None in a new relationship is tuff. I was able to feel all the emotions that working the steps dug up, and process them. I see alot of people here doing just that - jumping from one relationship before one is even complete and then all of a sudden, the new one is just like the old one and then wondering why they always get stuck with the jerks. I was for a couple years after my first and only divorce. Holidays coming up, lonely, you got it - rushed in again- and again it did not work. Wasn't like I was turning down any good guys- most didn't have jobs,still living at home with Momma.But seriously, I’ve heard the same thing in rehab: “No dating during the first year of recovery.” CMA and NA people have often said the same thing. It's like eating a biscuit that isn't done in the middle- the biscuit can be eaten -but it tastes much better if you are patient and let it cook. Riding that emotional rollercoaster with a partner would have been difficult. As much as I hate to admit it, yeah, I think you`re right. when I first got out of rehab, this guy I`d been close with during my "venge" started coming around and we started dating. Of course I tried the rushing into a relationship first. And to me, the majority were sleeping with anything that had 2 legs so I didn't consider it a compliment when they hit on me. First marriage ,rush job- lasted a year and a half. As for slow: Hubby and I were friends for a long time before we ever dated- at least 6 months or so.

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